Friday, June 5, 2015

War with JBF: Monster #4 is the Cooperstown Monster?

If Monster #3 is all about the unknown, Monster #4 declared its intentions immediately. Another slasher picture veteran emerged:

With an old-school villain like Jason, I expected a little more fight. But, like the evil monsters before him, Jason, too, did not expect the power that Gus calls on regularly to defeat his enemies.  Jason clearly underestimated Gus.  Gus, though, polished off Jason quickly.

Jason was protecting a 400-count box wrapped up in blue painter's tape inside a priority mail box.  On the box was a message:

HOF Monster?  In Brewers history, there have been five total Hall of Famers who wore the uniform.  In the order they appeared with the team, they are: Robin Yount, Hank Aaron, Paul Molitor, Rollie Fingers, and Don Sutton.  

I collect only two of those guys as PCs, and those two guys -- Yount and Molitor -- were literally the only two players in the box.  

What do I mean?  Well, there were tons of base cards, including quite a few that I needed for my collections:

This is a Topps Tiffany Parallel

 There were all kinds of stickers I needed too!

And then, there were oddballs.  Glorious oddballs.  I don't know why those MSA Discs are always such a draw for me, but they are. This Monster fed that fixation:

Add in a couple of 3-D style cards -- whether the Kellogg's or the 7-Eleven version:

Then, more oddballs.  

A few of these deserve special mention, though.  Two in particular:

I have a 1986 version of this Brewers/Pepsi Fan Club card of Paul Molitor. I was such a little dork or moron -- your choice -- back then that I actually filled it out and put my name on the back of it where there is a spot to do it.  

Some how and in some way, though, Wes found one from 1987 that was not filled out.  I mean, it's not that surprising that there are few floating around and all -- a lot of kids joined the fan club because for the low price of two Pepsi proofs of purchase and $5, a kid under the age of 14 would get twelve total upper deck grandstand seats for various Brewers games -- almost always weekday day games, of course. You know, the ones that are tough to sell for teams.  

But come on -- Wes lives in Alabama! Why would he have one of these laying around?

A similar thought crossed my mind with this card:

It's a part of the set that the local Milwaukee newspaper, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (created in the 1990s when the publisher decided to merge the morning Sentinel with the evening Journal under one umbrella), issued in 2000 to honor the first thirty years of Milwaukee baseball.  Fans voted for a player at each position for each decade.  Yount had four total cards in the set -- at shortstop for the 1970s, shortstop and outfield in the 1980s, and in the outfield for the 1990s.

Once again, why did this find its way to Alabama?

Well, as Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, ours is not to reason why.

Ours is but to look at inserts and smile.

While I'm in a poetic mood, quoting from The Charge of the Light Brigade and all, how about we take a brief poetic interlude to enjoy a poem from one of the greatest English poets of the 20th Century, Ted Hughes:
I found this jawbone at the sea's edge: 
There, crabs, dogfish, broken by the breakers or tossed
To flap for half an hour and turn to a crust
Continue the beginning. The deeps are cold: 
In that darkness camaraderie does not hold.

Nothing touches but, clutching, devours. And the jaws, 
Before they are satisfied or their stretched purpose
Slacken, go down jaws; go gnawn bare. Jaws
Eat and are finished and the jawbone comes to the beach: 
This is the sea's achievement; with shells, 
Vertebrae, claws, carapaces, skulls.

Time in the sea eats its tail, thrives, casts these
Indigestibles, the spars of purposes
That failed far from the surface. None grow rich
In the sea. This curved jawbone did not laugh
But gripped, gripped and is now a cenotaph.
Why would I suddenly start quoting poetry?  Well, that poem is called "Relic", and relics were the highlight of the Hall of Fame Monster:

Those are some awesome cards -- especially that autographed Molitor.  There was one Molitor relic that stood above the rest:

Yes, that is serial numbered 2 of 18!  Seriously.  

This monster will be tough to top for me for all of the HOF goodness it contained.  But, to give a bit of a spoiler, there is nothing that can top the sheer cruelty of Monster #5.  

Yes.  Cruelty.  


  1. Holy Cow! What a boost to your PCs! I love the Legendary Materials "Cuts" cards of Yount and Molitor. Great stuff overall!

  2. HOF relics are a good way to open a box.