Stealing a PWE

I'm getting closer to being caught up with posts. Well, what I mean is that I'm getting closer to getting into the things I've gotten in the month of May. I have two things left from the early part of the season to talk about, and first up is a PWE from my good friend Oscar a/k/a Stealing Home. To accompany these cards, I'm going with honoring the late Gregg Allman with some of my favorite Allman Brothers songs.

1.  "Midnight Rider"

Gregg Allman wrote this song in the midst of a pot-smoking binge in early 1971. He got stuck on trying to come up with lines for the third verse when roadie Kim Payne threw out the first two lines of the verse. Allman then wanted to get the song recorded so quickly that he broke into the studio in the middle of the night and laid the demo down himself.

This song came back into America's collective consciousness recently thanks to the fact that GEICO used the song in an ad for motorcycle insurance. This struck a lot of people as being in poor taste in light of the fact that band members Berry Oakley and Duane Allman both died in motorcycle accidents in Macon in the early 1970s about 13 months apart. As the article I linked to points out, it's rather incredible that both the ad agency and the surviving members of the Allman Brothers Band green-lighted that ad.

I'll start the PWE out with the card of the one player who is still with the team. Ryan Braun has been injured a lot this year with a calf problem that is becoming a real issue. Thanks to his lying about his steroid use, there is a significant portion of the Brewers fanbase who would like nothing more than to see Braun sold off for ten cents on the dollar in the interest of "rebuilding." 

I can see their point, but that thinking is short-sighted as well. Braun is entering the decline phase of his career -- yes. But just giving him away does not make sense either. He has value and, now, he has a full no-trade clause thanks to being a 10/5 guy. There are very few teams that he would play for at this point, and of those, I can't think of one that makes sense as a trade partner. In particular, Oscar's Dodgers as a destination makes a little sense but the Dodgers have a crowded outfield already. 

The Brewers surprisingly seem to have done better with Braun out of the lineup this year. Perhaps that will continue.

2. "Jessica"

Rock bands don't tend to have instrumental songs these days, and they never have instrumental songs that are 7-1/2 minutes long (album version) or 15 minutes long (pretty much every live version) like "Jessica." Guitarist Dickey Betts wrote this song, and named it for his daughter Jessica.

Wikipedia tells me that the song is really a tribute to legendary jazz guitarist Django Reinhardt because the song was designed to be played using just two fingers on his left hand. Reinhardt had lost the use of two of his fingers in a fire, but he was able to get past that to become one of the most influential guitarists in any genre.

Let's go to the Hall of Famers next. I've been seeing a lot of folks recently posting their "best players I've seen play" or "from my childhood" lists on Facebook and elsewhere, so I'll use this opportunity to put up my list of the best players from my childhood here:

C: Gary Carter: best hitting catcher of the 1980s

1B: Cecil Cooper: Yes, I'm biased, but it's my list

2B: Ryne Sandberg: Got to see him play in person in 1984 in Wrigley. Pre-lights. 

3B: Mike Schmidt: No doubt the best third baseman ever

SS: Robin Yount: Yount was the precursor for shortstops who could hit playing the position

LF: Dave Winfield: Never liked him because he was a Yankee, but he was damn good

CF: Willie McGee: Single handedly destroyed a 10-year-old's dream in 1982

RF: Jesse Barfield: You *never* ran on Jesse's arm. Ever.

DH: Paul Molitor: The best pure hitter of the 1980s. Not Boggs. Molitor was more complete.

RP: Don Sutton: Yes, really. An artist by the time I saw him pitch. Guile alone, almost.

LP: Ron Guidry: For hating the Yankees, I sure respect them.

RP: Rich Gossage: Almost always lights out, and so intimidating

Others considered:

C: Ted Simmons, Bob Boone, Carlton Fisk

1B: Keith Hernandez, Don Mattingly

2B: No one, really.

3B: George Brett

SS: Ozzie Smith.

LF: Jim Rice, Ben Oglivie

CF: Dale Murphy, Robin Yount, Gary Pettis

RF: Reggie Jackson, Dwight Evans, Dave Parker

DH: Wade Boggs, Reggie Jackson

SP: Nolan Ryan, Steve Carlton, Tom Seaver

RP: Bruce Sutter, Rollie Fingers, Jeff Reardon

Probably the most surprising to me is how weird right field was in the 1980s. Being a mostly American League fan, I didn't see much of Parker to be able to appreciate him. Jackson was a hitter mostly, not a fielder, and my dislike for him outweighed including him. Evans is a solid member of the Hall of the Very, Very Good. There are many worse players in the Hall of Fame, but that isn't an argument to include him.

3. "Ramblin' Man"

A necessity for any Allman Brothers post of their hits or greatest songs. This is one of the best driving songs around. I'm quite sure I fell asleep a few times with this song playing as I was on a roadtrip to wherever in the 1980s and 1990s. The song itself is heavily influenced by country music and was inspired by a Hank Williams Sr. song of the same name. It remains the highest charting Allman Brothers song ever, having hit number two on the Billboard Hot 100 charts.

I feel like Topps Heritage may be the only set other than the Flagship set that can withstand all the gimmicks and short prints and stupid sh*t that Topps does with literally every single product it puts out. 

For instance, I'm not sure that Archives will stick around much longer after this year's ridiculous checklist. A Skip Bayless autograph? Christ, everyone other than Skip Bayless hates Skip Bayless. 

Zach Hample gets an autograph in this set too. The guy who illegally crashed his way into the Braves game at Fort Bragg last year just so he could push kids away and grab a foul ball is not someone who should be celebrated in any way. The guy is a blight on baseball fans, but he gets a card? Hell, even that self-promoting idiot Marlins Man thought better of trying to go to the Fort Bragg game.

Then we get into announcers. Only John Sterling and Gary Cohen. What? Why does the guy who's called the Yankees games since 1989 or the guy who's called Mets games since 1989 get a card when Bob Uecker -- who has been the Brewers announcer since 1971 and is in the Hall of Fame as a broadcaster since 2003 -- has yet to be included in anything from Topps like this? The last time Uecker was included in anything other than a Buyback was in the 2001 Topps Archives -- the reprint versions. He hasn't even been in Allen & Ginter. 

Why the hell does some obnoxious Yankee fan Bald Vinny get an autograph card in a set like Archives? 

Even player autographs are a mess. Roy Oswalt gets a fan favorite autograph with the Phillies -- the team he pitched 36 games for in 2010 and 2011 -- rather than with the Astros (for whom he pitched 10 years)?

Frankly, 2017 Archives is a train wreck. There are as many Milwaukee Braves in the base set as there are Minnesota Twins -- even Twins legend Harmon Killebrew is shown on the Senators, for crying out loud. There are more Aaron Judge cards (including inserts and autographs) than there are Brewers or Twins or Rays or Padres. 

I loved the Archives set when I got back into collecting in 2014. Now, I hope it is euthanized.

4. "Statesboro Blues"

"Statesboro Blues" is actually a cover of an old blues song written in 1927 by Blind Willie McTell. The Allman Brothers Band made it their own thanks to the inspired guitar playing by Duane Allman on the At Fillmore East live album. Duane used a medicine bottle from medicine he'd used to treat a cold as his slide for the slide guitar part -- and played slide guitar for the first time ever that show. 

Statesboro, Georgia, is actually the home of Georgia Southern University. For a long time it was (and may still be) in a dry county, so students there would make liquor runs to nearby Metter. My brother-in-law worked at that liquor store during college -- the time he calls the best 7 years he ever spent.

Here are the last three cards from Oscar. Manny Parra was going to be the next great Brewer LHP, but injuries kept that from happening. 

Jean Segura has spent time now with four different organizations prior to turning 27 years old. I guess that reflects both that he is desirable and he is easy to part with. The Brewers got three players for him, including yesterday's one-hit hero, Chase Anderson.

Finally, I hate that Scooter Gennett card. It looks like he's been shot in the back or something based on the grimace on his face. 

Oscar, thank you very much for the great cards. And to the Allman Brothers -- get the band back together in the afterlife and start touring up there with Col. Bruce Hampton, would you?

Dollar Stores 101 #SuperTraders

For a while in November -- while everyone was still shocked that the Earth kept rotating on its slightly tilted axis despite the fact that the Chicago Cubs won the World Series -- I was getting concerned about my collecting. Trade packages had dried up. That was entirely my fault, since I have been very blasé about collecting generally lately. The time I have available for collecting had dried up too, as the real world of work and Thanksgiving and wanting to spend time with my wife all came together to make my card time limited.

Then, just after Thanksgiving or thereabouts, packages just started rolling in. My desk is a mess now of cards needing to be cataloged, sorted, scanned, marked off want lists, and added to player collection lists and binders. I have at least six or seven packages waiting to be scanned right now.

I do have one package that I scanned a while back and which I just haven't gotten around to posting. Probably two or three weeks ago now, I got a package in from Sportscards From the Dollar Store. It was an eclectic mass of Brewers cards, but I only scanned a few of them. Now, whatever else was in the envelope is somewhere on my desk...gah....

In honor -- or should I say, in honour -- of the envelope from the Dollar Store, I thought about dollar stores generally. There seem to be different stores of this nature all over the place. So, here's a few I know of being around where i live.

1.  Family Dollar

Dollar stores often have good deals on items that you buy every day. It's just that most of those stores tend not to be places you go every day. For instance, the Family Dollar near me has $1 rolls of wrapping paper, 88-cent 2-liter bottles of Canada Dry Ginger Ale, and $3 tubes of Colgate toothpaste. Not bad prices. Maybe I should shop at this dollar store?

Appropriately slow in starting out here -- because, well, I'm slow starting today anyway after a 3.5 mile run/walk in 37 degree weather (I know -- I've gotten weak having lived in Georgia for 21 years) -- let's go to 2010 Upper Deck. It's too bad Upper Deck had its license stripped by MLB. Cards like this -- even if it is a typical pitcher-grimacing photo -- remind me how good a simple design can be...unlike pretty much anything Topps has done since it got an exclusive license.

2.  Dollar Tree

I just realized that I have three Dollar Tree stores within three miles of my house and 21 stores within 10 miles of me. Crazy. D

Dollar Tree has the same kinds of deals as Family Dollar -- $1 rolls of wrapping paper seem to be a dollar store staple. Dollar Tree also has the always good 4.5-oz. bag of Cheez-Its for $1. Mmmmm....Cheez-its...

I feel like stores like Dollar Tree have taken over from what Sears and JC Penney used to be -- the local department store where people did all their shopping, including everything from tires to appliances. The reason that they have taken over is that Sears and JC Penney have floundered about trying to position themselves as better than Wal-Mart or as equivalent to a mall department store like Macy's.



Within my Dollar Store package, I got a Topps Chrome and a Topps Update of two pitchers who should be available at a dollar store. The two Italians did not cover themselves in glory in 2016. Capuano came back to the Brewers as a sort of elder statesman innings sponge, but he failed in that role when he got hurt after just 16 appearances and 24 innings in the first two months of the year.

Garza signed for a four-year, $50 million contract after the 2013 season. He's got one year left on that albatross...er, deal. Garza started the year on the DL and did not make his debut until two weeks after Capuano was done for the year. Garza pitched acceptably on occasion -- his first two starts over 10 innings yielded just one earned run, and his last six starts (33-1/3 innings) provided a good run of results as well (2.97 ERA, Opponent's BABIP of .299 means that was right on too). The problem was that those 8 starts bookended an 11-start stretch (58-1/3 innings) of a 6.02 ERA (opponent BABIP: .309...again, nothing out of the ordinary there).

Between Garza and Ryan Braun, the Brewers will spend over half their payroll on two players. Together, they may have a WAR of 0, with Braun's positive negated by Garza.

3.  Dollar General

I have to admit -- I get confused by all these different stores. With these names, you can see why. Unlike Dollar Tree and more like Family Dollar, Dollar General tends to have more items that cost more than $1 a piece or don't cost exactly a dollar. For instance, looking to my favorite gin mixer of ginger ale, two twelve packs of cans of Canada Dry Ginger Ale cost $5 here. Like the other stores, wrapping paper starts at a buck. But, you can also get a Star Wars coloring book here for $1. Can you do that at Family Dollar?

Well, probably. I don't know.

Speaking of Ryan Braun, here's an orange parallel from 2011 Bowman. This reminds me that the reason I have stacks of cards on my desk to sort is also caused by the fact that I got bogged down in 2013 Bowman parallels and ran out of steam on cataloging. 

I guess I should try to get my police cards into sheets instead.

4. five Below

I've gone into this store once about a year ago. I had to stop at the Office Depot next door to pick up some supplies for one of my wife's charity activities. I found some packs of 2015 Topps Series 1 in what might have been a retail or hobby box -- I didn't take a close look. The problem was that half the packages had actually been opened and rifled through. If there were any inserts in it, they were long gone. 

There's pack searching, and there is outright thievery. That was clearly the second.




Putting Molitor and O'Leary together may seem to be a weird thing. But it makes sense here because, under Sal Bando's management as general manager and in Bud Selig's eminent ass-hattery, both O'Leary and Molitor were simply discarded like those commons in the packs at Five Below. And, just like those commons, Bando and Selig made no effort to stop the thievery -- they just watched it happen as their pockets were picked.

This O'Leary card, though, reminds me that I am going to put together a real want list for all Brewers minor league teams. The first step is identifying them. Sort of like admitting that I have a problem.

5.  Ollie's Bargain Outlet

While Ollie's does not have that magic "dollar" word in their name, Ollie's is a big-time closeout store. They buy up huge lots of random things that other retailers can't sell or that the manufacturers or middlemen get overstocked and then sell them at cut prices. Thing is, though, that most of their deals are ones that you just have to go to the store to see. 

I wouldn't be surprised to see them start selling those awful 2013 Panini Triple Play cards soon. I mean, if Dave and Adam can't get rid of cases of them for $44.95 (suggested retail price: $475.20) or a 24-pack box for $3.95 (suggested: $23.76), it would seem that Ollie's is the next step.

Michael Reed played most of his 2016 season at the age of 23 in Triple-A Colorado Springs. He has appeared in 159 games at Triple-A, and in 640 plate appearances, he's slashing at .248/.363/.369. He is a singles-hitting outfielder who, as a prospect, is the equivalent of putting along in the right lane on the interstate driving five miles per hour under the speed limit while the Porsches and Maseratis and Lamborghinis in the left lane (model names: Lewis Brinson, Brett Phillips, Corey Ray, and Trent Clark) go blowing by him so fast that all he feels is breeze. 

I mean, Reed is still listed as the 27th best prospect in the Brewers organization. It's just that there are eight other outfielders ahead of him (add in Monte Harrison, Ryan Cordell, Demi Orimoloye, and Tyrone Taylor to those other guys) just on the prospect list and Domingo Santana and Keon Broxton in the majors. 

So, maybe someday soon, you too can find a Michael Reed blowout sale at your local dollar store.

Many thanks go out for the great cards.

A PWE from Nachos Grande -- Is It Just a Fad?

In case you missed it, it's the All-Star Break. Wednesday is the one night of the calendar year when none of our major sports have any games scheduled. Heck, not even our minor sports have anything scheduled, unless you count walking around with your phone in your face and chasing imaginary Pokémon GO characters. 

In that case, your minor sport has something scheduled, and it's big. I mean, after all, you could use this as your big opportunity to meet your mate -- like this (humorous) post on Huffington Post where Aaron promises women playing the game that his bedroom is the home to a number of rare Pokémon GO pocket monsters. And, hey, how about that double entendre? 

Before you stop me and go all "Um, actually..." on me, I understand that "Pokémon" actually is a portmanteau for "Pocket Monster." To be honest, though, I missed the Pokémon window back in the mid-1990s. I was busy with my first two years of law school, and, by that point, I had no real interest in the Nintendo Game Boy. My interests at that point laid strictly in trying to meet women in the bars in Athens, Georgia.

I mean, which would you pick?



OR



If you have a problem answering that question, that's cool. It's not a problem. Each to their own and all that.

But my answer was never and was never going to be a cartoon character.

The Pokémon thing got me thinking, though, about some past fads that were popular for a while and then went away -- either for the most part or entirely.  And, what better a way to introduce the cards Chris of Nachos Grande sent me than with some of my favorite fads.

1. Rollerblades




Rollerblading was huge in the mid-1990s. Heck, I even had rollerblades and used them regularly while I lived in the flatlands of southeastern Wisconsin during my year off from school after college and before law school. I brought them along with me to law school in Athens, but it was way too hilly to consider trying to use them to get anywhere.

Apparently, rollerblading is still a thing around the paths of Newport Beach, California. And, it is also acceptable, apparently, to follow a hot woman in a bikini around with a drone while she rollerblades. I'd guess she was in on it, because otherwise this video is pretty skeevy. 

Then again, if you watch to the end, the dude with the drone is pretty skeevy no matter how you cut it.

If we are going for skeevy cards, let's talk about the weird wall that Topps imposed on team cards in the late aughts to avoid having to get image rights' waivers from every clubhouse attendant and bat boy in the league. Those cards looked terrible, and Topps knew it. Rather than getting approvals, however, Topps simply jettisoned the cards. 

Maybe Topps should have gone with the 1977 Cubs look instead (note: not my card).

2. Honey Boo Boo




I never, ever understood Honey Boo Boo.  Some folks were simply completely enamored with the exploits of an exploited toddler who was between 6 and 8 years old named Alana. The entire family scared the living daylights out of me -- for reasons not least of which include the fact that they live in Georgia.

I never watched an episode, but this was truly a fad. It lasted for four seasons and ended only when Alana's mother was outed as being "romantically involved" with a registered sex offender.

I suppose, I imagine, I should be happy that they didn't go to the usual "pick on Southerners" stand by of having that woman date a cousin.

Another rather inexplicable phenomenon from around 2007 was identifying Dennis Sarfate as some sort of potential rookie star from somewhere. He always walked far too many people to profile in the majors as anything other than a reliever. To be fair, he's now made quite a good life for himself in Japan as a closer with Hiroshima (2011-2012, 44 saves), Seibu (2013, 10 saves), and Softbank (2014 to the present, 105 saves and counting, including his current season of 40 innings with 47 strikeouts, 19 hits allowed, and 6 walks allowed). Pretty much a Quad-A guy.

3.  Daisy Dukes

This song, released in 1993, gave a comeback to the really short jean shorts made famous in the 1970s by Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke on The Dukes of Hazzard. Personally, I find that Daisy Dukes can be a double-edged sword. While Catherine Bach -- or Jessica Simpson in the revival movie, or Katy Perry in the 3OH3! video for "Nice Legs, Daisy Dukes" -- make these look really good, that's not a universally good look.

See what I mean?

Similarly, I view the 1960 set -- and its Heritage throwback cousin/redo -- in a similar vein. While a lot of the cards look good, not all of them do. This one bleaches out Ray Durham's face and makes his eyes look really weird.

At least, though, it doesn't make him look like a Person of Walmart.

4. Mexican Jumping Beans

When I was a little kid of 5 or 6, the local "variety" store had a bunch of "Mexican Jumping Beans" in containers for sale at the cash register -- pretty much right next to the packs of baseball cards. The reality of these things is that they are actually seed pods inhabited by the larva of a small moth -- as the video above shows.

At least they are authentically Mexican, coming from the mountains of Sonora, Sinaloa, and Chihuahua.

Unlike the Mexican jumping beans, Felipe Lopez is actually a well-traveled native of Puerto Rico who attended high school in Florida. Lopez played parts of two seasons -- 2009 and 2011 -- with the Brewers, totaling 82 games and hitting .300/.384/.409 with the team. That production was entirely out of line with his overall career numbers of .264/.333/.391.

5.  Miniskirts

What can I say -- I'm a sucker for any excuse to put videos and photos of beautiful women dancing (or, for that matter, standing still) on my blog. I know most of you probably don't mind my doing this either. 

Perhaps there are photos out there somewhere of Manny Parra in a miniskirt. I couldn't find any. But, I did find one of new Red Sox closer Brad Ziegler dressed as Raggedy Ann.

Topps -- or maybe Upper Deck -- needs to make a "Rookie Initiation" set with photos like this one. They really do.

I can even help -- here's the Brewers' initiation from 2014 from a Sports Illustrated gallery that included the Ziegler.

I'm not sure how I start with Pokemon and end up with a photo of a bearded Hooters girl, but PWEs sometimes do weird things.

Thanks, Chris, for the great cards!

Gimme a Smack

It's funny how cereal companies no longer tout their sweetness by incorporating the word "Sugar" into its name. Remember "Super Sugar Crisp"? That cereal went from being "Post Super Sugar Crisp" to now being "Post Golden Crisp." According to this survey, Golden Crisp is comprised of 52% sugar. That one is just second on the list of highest sugar content, though.

Topping the list is another of these name changers. Checking in at a whopping 57% sugar is the inaptly named "Honey Smacks." I remember eating these as "Sugar Smacks" -- like in the commercial from 1981 below.  It didn't hurt that I'd usually get baseball cards in these cereals, but I do wonder whether I developed my sweet tooth thanks to these breakfast cereals.

These days, the only "Smack" that I don't have any remorse in dealing with is Jimmy from Talking Smack Cards. Jimmy does not post a ton, but he keeps his want lists up to date (so, I shall be trying to find a few cards I can send his way soon).  Jimmy sent me an email to let me know that he had a few cards I needed off my wantlist, and those cards arrived from California while I was in California. How appropriate.

Jimmy made a nice dent in my 2009 Topps wantlist and obliterated my 2015 Topps Update list.  Let's start with the recent cards first:

The top row features two players who are still Milwaukee Brewers, while the bottom row features new Detroit Tiger K-Rod and new Seattle Mariner Luis Sardinas. K-Rod apparently had photos of former GM Doug Melvin in a compromising position, as that is the only real way to explain why Melvin kept resigning him while new GM David Stearns basically gave Rodriguez to the Tigers for a shortstop in A-ball and a player to be named.

Sardinas was theoretically the centerpiece of the trade with the Rangers last offseason for Yovani Gallardo. In reality, Corey Knebel is looking more like that centerpiece. Some folks are saying that the 23-year-old Knebel should close for the Brewers in 2016; I tend to think Jeremy Jeffress should do that, because it would be easier to trade Jeffress if he turns out good at it.  Anyway, in exchange for Sardinas, the Brewers received former Yankee prospect Ramon Flores.  Flores has shown a good batting eye in his minor league time -- slashing in his 7 minor league seasons at .275/.363/.405. He doesn't really hit for power or steal basis, though, so his value is entirely dependent on his batting average.

You can't have cookies for breakfast!!! 

But, you can get 2009 Topps cards out and check them out!

I loved Cookie Crisp.

Of course, we haven't been able to pull baseball cards from cereal boxes for something like 20 years now, and you can eat all the Cookie Crisp cereal you want. 

This world is upside down, if you ask me. 

Of the guys pictured above, two of them are still with the Brewers -- Braun and his manager Craig Counsell. With the news that the Brewers signed Chris Capuano to a minor league deal with an invitation to spring training, though, I'm thinking Manny Parra can't be far behind. I mean, he is a free agent. Let the memory live again -- the memory of Manny Parra as the next great lefty in Milwaukee -- okay, first great lefty in Milwaukee (because Dan Plesac and Mike Caldwell don't count)....

Sing it, Grizabella! 

Jimmy, thank you very much for the great cards!