Hazed by Bowman

I never joined a fraternity in college. Shocking, I know, that a guy who collects baseball cards would not join a fraternity. For the most part, I actually stayed away from the frats at Vanderbilt because I really wasn't all that much into beer drinking in college. Sure, I'd drink mixed drinks without a problem. 

But fraternity beer was crappy stuff like Milwaukee's Best Light, so a taste was enough to convince me not to drink too much. Later -- like, the year after graduating from college -- when I had a little bit of money, I started enjoying beer drinking. I tend not to drink as much beer these days as I have in the past thanks to getting back into enjoying wine more and starting on gin instead. 

But, thanks to my non-fraternity background, I "missed out" on the indoctrination of fraternity hazing. Strangely enough, some people actually have posted a hazing song from their fraternity on YouTube, calling it a "Vintage Sigma Chi Hazing Song."



I don't get the appeal of it. Yeah, I guess it gives you an in with sorority girls, maybe. And maybe making a few friends you might not have otherwise made could be an appeal as well. Still, it seems puerile and obnoxious to need to rely on paying dues to hang out with your friends.

But, that might just be me.

Why am I talking about hazing? Because all around good guy John Hazen sent me some Bowman cards -- that's why. John sent me an email saying he had a few Bowman from 2008 and asked if I needed them. I like people who ask me that.

So, let's see what I got!



This Stephen Chapman is not a Christian singer, nor does he write for the Chicago Tribune, nor does he play soccer for Appalachian State University. This Stephen Chapman was the Brewers 6th Round pick in the 2004 draft out of Marianna High School in Marianna, Florida (which is pretty much due north of Panama City inland in Florida's panhandle). 

By 2008, he was 22 years old and had spent his 2007 season at West Virginia in the Sally League where he hit 24 HRs and slashed .262/.326/.501. His batting eye left something to be desired -- 36 BB and 137 Ks in 511 plate appearances. He spent 2008 in the Florida State League and struggled greatly hitting -- so much so that he was out of the Brewers organization and with the Reds for the 2009 season. 2009 is the last year that he has stats on Baseball Reference, so I'm pretty sure he's not playing organized baseball any more.

David Welch was born in Sydney, Australia in 1983. He was drafted by the Yankees in 2003 and did not sign. The Brewers then drafted him in the 20th round of the 2005 draft out of Texarkana College in Texas. He was old for his levels in 2005, 2006, and 2007 -- reaching the Florida State league in 2007. 

He moved up to Huntsville in 2008 and pitched okay but not great -- only a 1.86 K/BB ratio in 147-2/3 innings. He returned to Huntsville in 2009 and was named to the Australian Baseball World Cup Roster that year. But, in 2010, he found himself in independent baseball with Sioux City, Mexico City, and back in Sydney with the Blue Sox -- even throwing the first no-hitter in the playoffs in Aussie baseball history against the Adelaide Bite. That 2010 season was the last that Baseball Reference heard of him, and he retired on July 18, 2011.

I'm sensing an unhappy trend here.

Darren Ford was an 18th Round pick of the Brewers in 2004 out of Chipola College -- in Marianna, Florida, oddly enough. Ford actually made it to the major leagues with the San Francisco Giants in 2010 and 2011. His grandfather, Ted Ford, also played in the major leagues in the early 1970s.

His most accurate position really would be "pinch runner," it seems. In his minor league career spanning 12 seasons and counting (as he spent 2016 in Double-A and Triple-A with the Giants), he has racked up 4944 plate appearances and hit 58 homers. But, he has stolen 450 bases since 2005. Ford stole 18 bases in 61 games in 2005, 69 bases in 125 games in 2006, and 67 bases in 123 games in 2007. 

But, midway through the 2008 season, the Brewers traded him along with another minor leaguer (Steve Hammond) to the Giants to rent the skeletal remains of Ray Durham for the pennant chase. The Giants released him after the 2011 season. The Mariners signed him for a year and then let him go. Then, the Pirates had him for a season and let him go. Since 2014, he's been organizational depth for the Giants.

Last one:

Speaking of guys from baseball families, here's Cleveland outfielder Mike Brantley. Of course, his dad Mickey played for the Mariners from 1986 through 1989. Though he never played for the major league team, he spent a portion of 1990 and all of 1991 in the Milwaukee Brewers farm system at Triple-A Denver.

Mike also didn't make it to the major leagues with the Brewers. He was a 7th round draft pick out of high school from Fort Pierce, Florida (which is on the east coast of Florida in St. Lucie County). Brantley was the player to be named later in the trade that sent CC Sabathia to Milwaukee. While Matt LaPorta and Zach Jackson were thought to be the key players at the time, Brantley turned out to be the real gem.

Brantley missed most of 2016 thanks to having right shoulder surgery in May of 2016. It was a shame that the got hurt, as he appeared to be turning into a minor star in 2014 -- making the all-star game, finishing third in the MVP voting (behind Mike Trout and Victor Martinez), and winning the Silver Slugger Award. If the 2014 MVP voting was done on WAR, Brantley (6.8, of which 7.0 came from hitting and -0.2 for his defense) would have been 5th behind Trout (7.9 WAR and MVP), teammate Corey Kluber (7.4 WAR), Josh Donaldson (7.3) and Adrian Beltre (7.0). 

Many thanks go out to John "Purple" Hazen for these great cards -- I'll be putting a package together soon!

Rocked by the Suburbs

It's human nature to wonder from time to time what people think about you. Sure, psychologically speaking, you'll find more self-help websites preaching to you that you shouldn't care, but we all do it from time to time.

I'm lucky in the blogworld, though, that my reputation and personality is pretty clear: I'm the oddball guy. I love oddballs. Oddballs and the Brewers. I can say honestly that it has nearly always been in my nature to seek out things that are a bit different and to glom on to those things that I like while dispatching those I don't like. 

In card collecting, what that's meant is that I have a healthy appreciation for cards not issued by Topps, Donruss, Fleer, Upper Deck, Score, or Pacific as part of their regular sets. If a card came from police officers, as a giveaway at a stadium, in a regular-issue book/magazine, from a cereal box, with potato chips, dog food, or a fast-food meal, I will probably like it just a little bit more than if it's just another of the four inserts per pack or some stickergraph.  

That's my nature.

Thankfully, all y'all seem to know that about me.

For instance, I received a PWE this week from Tony Burbs of Wrigley Roster Jenga. 

Yeah, not all that original to go to Ben Folds, but it's a great song. I mean, I can relate to being male, middle class, and white, and the lyrics give me a built in theme post musically! So let's rock the suburbs and go through the great cards -- and oddballs -- that Tony sent to me.

1.  Rockin' the suburbs just like Michael Jackson did

Let's be clear: this song is irony, and it is intended to make light of things that are definitely first world problems. Being clever is a skill, and it seems a number of reviewers weren't clever enough to figure out that Ben Folds was, indeed, employing irony when writing this song (real irony, not 10,000 spoons when you need a knife irony).

So, Michael Jackson rocking the suburbs? Sure -- back in the early 80s, what self-respecting 10-year-old didn't try to moonwalk?

Not that I could, but everyone who tried dancing ever in the early and mid-1980s had to try to throw a moonwalk into their repertoire. Michael Jackson in 1983 was a 100% badass. 

What cards did Tony send me that go with this?



Police cards from the late 1990s from Prairie du Chien -- in the western part of the state on the Mississippi RIver -- of course. I've never been to Prairie du Chien, so I've never had the pleasure of visiting PDC's third-best place to go: Valley Fish & Cheese.

By 1997, the Brewers or their baseball card sponsors had given up on the preachy, long-winded advice from the early 1980s to pithier, terser statements more easily remembered by a five-year-old.

For instance, here's the 1982 back of Robin Yount's card extolling the virtues of the buddy system when swimming.

By the time 1997 rolled around, kids apparently couldn't be arsed to read five sentences or draw parallels between turning double plays and swimming in pairs. Instead, we get the truncated version of the same advice on the back of Eddy Diaz's card:

It seems off that a card from a guy from Venezuela would feature advice about ice skating in pairs. Then again, by this point, the card makers had given up on the charade of having a player giving advice, and, instead, have an anthropomorphic ball with odd, soulless eyes and matchstick arms and legs advising kids not to swim or ice skate alone. 

And Brewers fans wonder why the team sucked in the late 1990s? Clearly, everyone had given up and said, "aw, to hell with it. No one will notice anyway."

2.  Rockin' the Suburbs just like Quiet Riot Did

Damn, Ben Folds nailed it with this song. An angry band to allow us white, middle-class kids (and those of us like myself who grew up as far less well off than middle class but lived in middle class worlds) to express our anger by singing along with a song.

It's a weird video with the padded cells and all with the late Kevin DuBrow behind the metal mask. Just remember to Bang Your Head!

Cards? Oh yeah, I almost forgot. We're talking about cards here.  Let's see...let's go with the four remaining weirder cards.

 

Darren Ford was drafted out of high school in the 18th round of the 2004 draft by the Brewers. He liked playing for the West Virginia Power, racking up a .299/.372/.424 line in 820 plate appearances there with 12 homers and 100 stolen bases in 176 games. Ford eventually was traded to the Giants with another minor leaguer for Ray Durham in 2008, and he made it to the majors for 16 total plate appearances (33 games) in 2010 and 2011. He is 30 now and he signed up to continue as organizational depth for the Giants on January 13, 2016.

Otherwise, we've got a 1990 Robin Yount Watertown Police Department card. I've been to Watertown in my life; when I was a little kid, my mom dated a guy who lived there. Strange place.

Then, we've got the King of Clubs, Cal Eldred. I'm not sure I'd want to be on the king of clubs playing card if I were a pitcher, but I'm guessing Cal didn't have much input into that decision.  

Finally, it's the weird one. The unnamed player -- clearly Robin Yount -- on a card with a half-empty beer stein as the team's logo with a fake interview on the back about how the team he's on is "flat and faceless, with no identity, no personality, and no pizazz." The "Confex Baseball Enquirer" tried hard to be funny, and that's probably why it is really not all that funny at all.

3.  Rockin' the Suburbs just like Jon Bon Jovi did

Jon Bon Jovi is okay. 





I liked Deadliest Catch for a while. What can I say.

I mean, Bon Jovi's songs are catchy -- whether solo or with the band that bears his revised last name -- but they are a lot like cotton candy...lots of sugar, sweet for a while, but in the end full of air and unsatisfying.  At least to me. Your mileage may vary. 

But, with that in mind, I'm grouping the last cards I scanned from the PWE together because, while they are cool and all, they are just "normal" cards from the big guys.



Don't misunderstand -- I like these cards. For the most part, our only option these days comes from Topps, and they put out some pretty good cards. Upper Deck may return to baseball some day, and that would be cool too because they had some nice designs in their time as well.

That said, 9 times out of 10, I'll take the weird.




And that, folks, is number 10.  To make the song better, I recommend playing the video at double speed and watching the badass dance moves that dude throws down.

Tony, thank you very much for the great PWE!