WAR with JBF: Fighting the First Monster

This past Saturday, I was minding my own business in my home office/card room, watching the epic suck-up-ery that was the "Steven Gerrard is Leaving Liverpool" game in which Liverpool got smacked by Crystal Palace 3-1.  I understand Gerrard is a Liverpool legend to those Scousers on the Kop and all.  

He's been with the club -- starting in its Academy -- from age 9 and claims to love the club deeply.  What I have yet to figure out in the whole discussion is why he is leaving if he loves the club so much? The reason: he couldn't bear being "a squad player," playing less and coming on as a sub.  

While I appreciate the outpouring of support for him, I also don't understand why people aren't seeing him for the selfish bastard he is.  After all, both Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes became squad players for Manchester United, earned additional trophies and medals, and retired as one-club players. 

But I digress.  And I laughed as Gerrard lost that last game...but my laughter did not last.  

I was faced with my own problems.  A monster arrived.

My cat Gus was the first to check it out. He wasn't sure what to think of this box showing up. I popped it open, and the view I saw was what I shared on Sunday:

The note inside warned that I had 6 monsters to vanquish and asked if I could handle it. Was I really ready for this?  I don't know. 

But, to paraphrase from what Pulp said in its classic song "Common People," I had to start it somewhere, so I started....there.

I dumped the box out.  At the bottom was, in fact, a monster.

Considering the back of the packaging, should I be concerned about my home becoming the site of a slasher pic?

This is an adult action figure, the package warned, appropriate only for people over the age of 17.  They didn't say anything about cats though:

But Gus, man, that cat is tough.  He had Freddy screaming for mercy in no time at all.  Let me tell you, he looks like a fuzzy ball of fur and friendliness, but he can turn on the mean streak whenever he needs it.  He's an inside cat who lived on the street long enough to build a tough streak. 

He's a great cat, let me tell you.  

With Gus easily taking care of Freddy Krueger, I was home free to handle the rest of this package.  Inside the large Priority Mail box were five flat rate boxes, each containing cards. The first one that I grabbed and opened was basically a Bipping.  

A dual Bipping:

To get a feel for how many of each there were, well, check out this scan:

Wes had stocked up on 1993 Topps Jesse Orosco and Ricky Bones cards, it seems.  I flipped through these cards anxiously, hoping that I hadn't just gotten a ton of 1993 Topps that I already had.  Thankfully, though, within each stack, there was a great surprise:

Yes, indeed.  We have a printing plate for current bullpen arm Jeremy Jeffress (who came up in the Brewers system, was traded to Kansas City, then to Toronto, then designated for assignment last year...leading the Brewers to reclaim him) and for former All-Star outfielder Carlos Lee.  Here's a little better look at each:

That first box was one heck of a great start.  Tomorrow, I'll get into the rest of the cards in the other boxes...time's a little tight tonight, and this package deserves another post or two or three.